Im alive again

Its been a long time --it really feels good to sit and type my thoughts again--my daughter has since moved in with me--2 wks before christmas she came to visit--she was living in Calif. with her dad---after 2 wks she said mom "I'm staying"-- I realized my life as I knew it-- was over-- I've ajusted she loves being here--we are buddies again--her dad was a complete ass--- to me when she lived with him for 3yrs---Now the shoe is on the fat asses foot and he doesnt like the fact of her not returning --his phone calls after calling several times--now he knows what I felt for years--- not having her with me --Now -- he gets the picture--and its not cute---he did absolutely nothing in regards to her keeping in touch with me over the yrs.---I send him photos of her ---I insist she stop what shes doing and call her dad--just because-- she puts up a fight but does it--he doesnt know I twist her arm so to speak--but who cares---I know she's happy afterwards--that makes me feel that I'm teaching her--inspite of how I feel about her dad-- I hope she will handle situations respectfully-- enough of him--

The last time I wrote I was disappointed--- I was having problems creating my new venture because --another business owner in the same building refused us being there--- My bus. partner and I fought like crazy to finally surcum to the landlord telling us --he can no longer let us go thur with our plans---or he will be sued---we have all of the machinery to create our business and no space in the neighborhood on the main strip for our business--mind you 3 spaces were available2-3 months ago when we started our project--- my bus. partner has 4 more years on her lease-- and we have no extra money to get a new space--hence my tears--especially having friends who have lots of money--and several saying no --what I find unfortunate is when Im called upon for help-- I am Always there---but having money-- just sitting in the bank and not contributing to Any causes-- on this earth---Im sorry I find that so fucking selfish--what are family and friends for--if not too share with one another while on this earth---you certainly can not take your fuckin money to your grave--some will Im sure---now I feel better that Ive released my tears--yes I do stand on my own two feet--- and trust me I Do----the neighborhood desperately needs new food spots-----SSSSSSoooooooo what I am going to do-- is start a delivery service ----thank God for people in the neighborhood that believe in seeing us grow---- Im ready -- head buried in kitchen--- In the name of a Victorian House-- in my neighborhood---with my daughters and my name on it. Here's to Reality.

Today as I was priming the walls to my new venture --by bus. partner was away at school---a nursing class--there is an existing-- -coffee shop on the main drag of our neighborhood--we are located on a side street----mind you my partner is changing her hair salon which posed no threat to the bookshop-- but now we've decided to serve food--I thought of fish&chips this is absolutely Perfect for our up & coming area---the owner of the coffee shop is opposed to the thought of us serving food-- because he offers coffee.tea.etc.---I'm pissed because he does not see the bigger pic.---offer great food-- -people will come--share the wealth--our product is different than what he is offering--the landlord doesnt care but wanted us too get his ok--we feel he's not paying our rent and our ideas are completely different from what he is offering--so we feel there is no need for discussions of our space with him--and mind you we have already purchased commercial equipment for our venture---hey--competition rules the world--and our neighborhood needs variety---are we being selfish -- or unreasonable--please can someone shed some light on this moment-----

I forgot to share with you--my business partner is a muslim women---and we have created a very sincere friendship in such a short period of time---I must admit I thought I would Die when she reconfirmed my thoughts of having Canadian Bacon with my eggs benedict on the menu --she suggested turkey bacon--I said forget it-- it wont be on the menu---or the soothing glass of chardonnay after a long day or mamosa to start my quite mornings---she said "No absolutely not" I said okay okay ---I dont need these things-- well at least not around her-- wish me luck---who knows maybe I'll become a muslim---well--- not anytime soon-------Angel

I am starting a new venture---my newly found friend and I are opening a much needed fish & chips spot in my neighborhood--she is a hairstylist and has grown tired of it--- we are converting her --our space into something much more desireable--wish me luck

It has been a long time---- my hands have been frozen--I can now write my true thoughts and emotions--I must admit my first blogs are under another name --200angels---I have unsuccessfully tried to retreive my old blogs but my email address has changed---and complications are inevitable---a new day another thought ---heres to new beginnings